Changing Times

I guess id never be alone in questioning why things have to change. I, like everyone else don't like good things to change or go bad but it seems i'm in a place at the moment where things have changed and i have to make a decision.

I don't think I'm a bad judge of character, in fact i think im a pretty good judge of character but it seems that once ive let people get close to me i end up getting hurt and the same thing always happens.

i remember my first relationship, in fact i idealize my first relationship. She was the girl next door, a very good looking girl with brown hair who i would often use any excuse to talk to. I first noticed her when i was 15 and would often kick my football into her garden just for an excuse to go round there but like any normal boy with a crush id never talk to her. Luckily enough she also fancied me and was much better at letting me know. well i saw much better, she didnt mind getting her friends to come and tell me.

we were together for about two years from about 16 to 18 and it was really the perfect relationship, everything we did and learnt we learnt from each other. Neither of us knew what we were doing and neither of us had any expectations. we had a very happy relationship, argueing no more than whats healthy and had a normal physical relationship, that was all new to both of us too.

But it seems that when you get older the people you meet come with baggage, people seem to arrive at diferent points when you meet them. The baggage is never really a bad thing, people just have different experiences.

i think im just upset that this hasnt gone as easy as i hoped this time, im upset that if i choose to continue i could potentially be putting myself in a place where i wont have trust and peice of mind.

i dont know what is best for me. I do know one thing for certain, that even though ive told you that its ended, i cant stop thinking about you and that i know for certain that i still want you and i guess still need you.